As most of you have already inferred, my Mom never made it home for Hospice care.  The GVHD progressed even more quickly once she was disconnected from her IV bags, in preparation of moving her home.  They kept her at the James in her last days, and our main focus was keeping her comfortable.  My Mom passed away on July 16, 2012, the day she was supposed to come home.

I say “supposed” to come home very lightly, because in my eyes, she did come home.  She went home to be with the Lord.  I am so proud to be Amy Diehl’s daughter.  She fought the ultimate fight, and in the end, she gained the ultimate prize.  I could write pages, and pages, on why my Mom was such an awesome person, and I could list an infinite amount of reasons why I will miss her.

It’s comforting to know that we were prepared for my Mom’s passing in the best way that we could be.  Most people don’t get the chance to say goodbye to their loved ones, but we were given that, and I am so grateful.  It’s hard to process that at 19, I’ve lost my Mom, but whatever she was put on this earth to accomplish, she has done it, and God has rewarded her for that.

I think the hardest part is over though.  It was hard watching my Mom suffer in the hospital.  It was hard getting the news that she was terminal.  It was hard getting the call that she had passed away.  It was hard making arrangements for my Mothers funeral.  It was hard seeing my Mom in the casket I picked out, in the her final (stylish) outfit Timyka and I picked out for her.  It was hard going to Grandview to lay my Mom to rest.

But, now we can start moving on with our lives, and work on getting things back to normal, whatever normal is.  I’m not saying that it will be easy, because it won’t be.  There will be times when I miss her terribly, I know this.  I’ve never wanted to imagine what it would be like graduating college, getting married, and having kids, without my Mom being there to hold my hand.  BUT THAT”S OKAY, because I can only think that way for a second; I know that my Mom will be there in spirit, and I will always have my friends and family here to hold my hand in her place.  My Mom would not have it any other way.

Living life to the fullest has never meant so much to me.  I’ve been witness to two great women, who have fought for their lives, and have been taken from me at the young ages of 18 and 48.  I can safely say that neither of them would want me to sit around and mope on the couch blogging.  They would want me to live. Live every day like it’s my last.  It’s so cliché, but it’s never been more relevant.

So to all of you who have been following my Mom’s story, don’t be looking for another post soon, because I’ll be too busy living.  It’s what my Mom and Emilee were set out to show me, so I will honor that.  Hopefully the next post I write will be much more lighthearted than How to Diehl with a friend or a Mother’s passing.

Thank you to all of you who have helped me, and my family, along the way. You have all been a part of helping us “Diehl” during such a difficult time.  This would have been unbearable without you.  All you really need in life are friends and family, they will get you through, don’t let anyone tell you anything different!






7 Responses to “Home”

  1. Cindy Collins Says:

    Bri, you are amazing, just like your mom!

  2. michele barezinsky Says:

    you are a brave young lady. your right, your mom would want you to live your life. she will always be with you. god bless you and your family.

  3. Love yourself right now and don’t forget to be kind to your heart. God will handle the rest Bri. I know your Mom’s so very proud of you. Love you forever, Nana XOXO

  4. You are wise beyond your years….much love

  5. Yes Bri you are correct she would want you to live life to the fullest.
    You should publish your story .


    what an amazing blog bri.. she’s in god’s hands now! what better hands to be in? stay strong through this stuggle through your life and always turn to god if your lacking strength!

  7. Brianna…this evening, I came across a story about your Mom that was referenced on our local newspaper website. It caught my eye, as all stories do about brave women battling some type of cancer. Since it mentioned you had a “blog”…I decided to see if I could “google” it and thus found & read a very powerful story by a very strong young lady!! Your words uplifted me, also! I can relate as I have had surgery for invasive ductal carcinoma or breast cancer with lymph node involvement reaching over under the arm requiring a second surgery, and a year later, after chemo, found out that the first surgeon didn’t even get it all, and thus, had to have a double mastectomy, and 4 weeks after that, renal cell kidney cancer surgery robotically at the James Cancer Center! All of this from October 2009 thru December 2010. I only completed half of my chemo treatments and contribute the decision to stop to saving my life or at least extending it!!! So I can so relate to many of the things you mentioned in your blog/diary. I just want to commend you for your bravery in handling such a horrific situation not just with your Mother, but also with the loss of your best friend in the last few months to the same disease! I can’t imagine your loss being just 19 years old. My heart goes out to you, your sister, and your Dad. I pray God gives you strength to carry on with your optimistic attitude knowing that the feeling of your Mom being close will always be there during times you feel you “need” her! I believe that! While I’m 60 and much older than your Mother…I have children 28 and 24 who will someday most likely face what your enduring now! I hope they can do it with the grace & strength you are displaying to your friends and family too! Your Mother, I’m sure, is so very very proud of you as she rests in the Hands of her Creator watching you and your family fulfill your life’s journey. I started a journal myself when I first learned of my breast cancer in 2009 after being misdiagnosed in 2007. it has helped me to deal with things, altho, I haven’t published mine. However, I’m so glad you did! . In the middle of all of my cancer stuff, my husband’s heart gave out and required a corrective procedure, which went wrong 6 hours into surgery when they ruptured his heart & he bled out, requiring a transfer on life support to another hospital, more surgery, and thus brought him back to me, but with many permanent heart and lung disabilities. He lost his job, I couldn’t do mine and thus also had to resign, we lost our medical insurance, fell in between the cracks of getting help, and now are both on comfort care mostly. But, like you said, Bri, God is good and we can always look around and find someone who is much worse off than we are. (I did tonite) I determined my cancers would not kill me from the very beginning and like your Mom….her cancer didn’t get her either….complications of trying to cure it did! So “we” are “winners”! I will remember you and your family in my prayers and pray that God sends all of you, friends or companions who will keep your heads up and looking forward to living life to the fullest and honoring your Mother by a wonderful positive attitude. She “lives on”…..your separation is only temporary…..take plenty of time to grieve, but remember, your reunion someday will be joyous and forever! Take care! Stay strong! And thank you again for sharing your blog with the world!! Your amazing words gave me renewed strength as well! With Sympathy to you and your family, Debbie Angles, Zanesville, OH.

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